The freak show, haunted house, and Skull-Crushing Terror Drop of Impending Death—all child’s play, hardly more than cheap thrills. If you want to see something truly frightening, you go to the smug-faced guy with the top hat and oversized scale, the one who promises to give you a stuffed monkey if you let him guess your weight in front of a gaping crowd of onlookers. That guy scares the bejesus out of most of us, and for good reason: Most Americans are overweight or obese.
The irony is, even as we bury our heads to scuttle by the guess-your-weight guy, we still end up walking away from the concession stand with armloads of fatty foods and belt-breaking confections. But why? Maybe it’s because we’re captive eaters at the amusement park, and the healthy foods are all but nonexistent. But the truth is, you’re not helpless, even at the amusement park. You may be locked into a car on the roller coaster and strapped to your seat on the swinging chairs, but when it comes to food, you’re still in charge of everything that passes your lips. With a few smart swaps, you can have fun and chow down without developing a freak-show worthy belly. To help you navigate the fun-house labyrinth of amusement park dining, I’ve compiled of foods to avoid. Study up before heading out to the amusement park and you’ll make it out unscathed.
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#6: WORST SWEET CLASSIC
Cotton Candy (2.1 Oz.)220 calories0 g fat56 g sugar
Here’s a brief intro to cotton candy production: To make the “cotton,” the candy maestro melts sugar into liquid, sprays it into thin strands, and then rolls it into a ball. Essentially that makes this treat no different than eating sugar straight from the bag, a serious problem considering it has more sweet stuff than 3 scoops of Breyers Chocolate Chip ice cream and not one iota of redeeming nutritional value. That’s enough to shift your body into fat-storage mode and land you a belly as soft as the confection you’re eating.
Eat This Instead!Popsicle (1 popsicle)45 calories0 g fat8 g sugar
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#5: WORST FROZEN TREAT
Snow Cone (3 oz. syrup)270 calories0 g fat68 g sugar
You know what’s ever-so-slightly worse than consuming liquid sugar in strand form? Consuming liquid sugar in liquid form, which is precisely what you do when you eat a snow cone. The ice is completely benign, but the syrup it’s soused in is anything but—it harbors more than 5 tablespoon of pure sugar! Go with a scoop of ice cream instead; you could eat three and a half scoops before matching the sugar in one snow cone, and the cream’s protein and fat will help temper the rush of glucose that hits your blood.
Bonus Tip: Not every sweet food is equally threatening to your waistline. Find the safest treats right here: 15 New Dessert Swaps for Weight Loss.
Eat This Instead!Strawberry Ice Cream (1/2 cup)125 calories5.5 g fat (3.5 g saturated)19 g sugar
#4: WORST DRINK
Lemonade (24 oz)300 calories0 g fat74 g sugar
Noticing a trend here? Lemonade, like cotton candy and snow cones, earns all of its calories from sugar. No wonder the summertime beverage owns its own category on The Worst Drinks in America. The problem is that lemon juice is inherently sour, and half a cup contains only 3 grams of sugar. That means virtually all the sweetness in the cup comes from added sugars, which puts lemonade on par with that other liquid candy we call soda. By switching to unsweetened tea and adding sugar yourself, you can control the number of empty calories in your cup.
Eat This Instead!Iced Tea (24 oz sweetened with 2 sugar packets)30 calories0 g fat8 g sugar
#3: WORST CANDY
Chocolate Marshmallow Fudge with Nuts (3 oz.)400 calories18 g fat (8.5 g saturated)55 g sugar
No other amusement park candy comes close the caloric density of fudge. Each single ounce packs well over 100 calories—not to mention 6 grams of fat nearly 20 grams of sugar. If you’re looking to pack on pounds, go for it. Otherwise, choose another treat. Kettle corn is a great option. It marries salty and sweet in a relatively low-calorie package, and it delivers a bonus package of belly-filling fiber.
Eat This Instead!Kettle Corn (3 cups)195 calories7.5 g fat (0 g saturated)9 g sugar
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#2: WORST BREAD SNACK
Funnel Cake with Powdered Sugar580 calories29 g fat (5 g saturated; 2.5 g trans)43 g sugar
Fried dough piled high with refined sugar could hardly be considered part of a healthy diet, but the most concerning part about this item is the trans fat. When it comes to eliminating partially hydrogenated oils from their deep fryers, amusement park venders aren’t under the same pressure as restaurants. As result, funnel cakes have the potential to put a serious strain on your cardiovascular system. If you simply must have a fried treat, opt for a doughnut instead.
Eat This Instead!Doughnut with Powdered Sugar190 calories10.5 g fat (2.5 g saturated)22 g sugar
#1: WORST MEAL
Nachos with Cheese (40 chips, 4 oz cheese)1,100 calories59 g fat (18.5 g saturated)1,580 mg sodium
If this is your lunch, expect to leave the park with more belly cargo than you brought in. Nearly half the calories in this dish come from two sources of fat: the oil used to fry the chips and the oil used to make the “cheese” sauce. That’s not good. Look—you’re probably not going to settle for (or find) a grilled chicken garden salad with fresh-harvested dandelion sprouts on top, but you can find a decent meal to combat hunger. Your best bet is a corn dog. It’s not a paragon of nutritional excellence, but it does pad your belly with some belly-filling protein and cut more than 800 calories from your day’s toll. If you’re still hungry after one, order another. You’ll still save hundreds of calories.
Eat This Instead!Corndog240 calories21 g fat (8 g saturated)810 mg sodium
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